ode to the caterpillar

Oh, beautiful butterfly!
Would you help me release you
From your caterpillar heart
Into an angel of the flowers
Fluttering carefree
With mysterious powers
O'er lush fields and bowers
Into my skies so very blue...

gin-soaked boy

i'm the nippy in the warm
i'm the calm before the storm
i'm the maverick in the norm
i'm the anarchist in the swarm
i'm the info in misinform
i'm the geometry in free form
i'm the rigid in transform
i'm the outlier in conform

inspired by the gin-soaked boy

run asimo, run

Honda Motor's humanoid robot has been around: He's rung the famed bell at the New York Stock Exchange, met Spain's king and even traveled with Japan's prime minister to Prague as a goodwill ambassador. Now, the Japanese automaker wants to prepare the 4-year-old Asimo for some real work. Office work.

Asimo, they're gonna make you work your plastic butt off.

Run Asimo, Run!

watch video , read article

corporate communism

Communism is a form of Socialism that abolishes private ownership and favors collectivism in a classless society. The scheme equalizes the social conditions of life and specifically abolishes the inequalities in the possession of property, by distributing all wealth equally to all, or by holding all wealth in common for the equal use and advantage of all.

Modern Communism, in the conventional sense, refers to a political movement based on the theories of Karl Marx and Frederich Engels in the 19th century. Marx envisioned the inevitable fall of industrial capitalism through the force of a powerful proletariat.

The basic tenets of communism are:
* Complete and lasting negation of the exploitation of the human being by the human being
* Collective ownership of property to the advantage of all society
* Equitable distribution of wealth irrespective of roles and responsibilities

For almost forty-five years, the communist system dominated Eastern European politics, but every known experiment in communism has failed. It is an accepted fact that communism could not be successfully implemented because of a basic conflict with the human need for individual gain and glory. The longest experiment lasted 80 years in Soviet Russia before the walls crumbled. Researchers have spent years studying and analyzing the demise of this utopian system. Here are some of the universally acknowledged reasons attributed to the demise of communism:

1. Communism abolished free markets so that officials had no market prices to guide them in planning production.

2. Communism failed in respecting its citizens as individuals, and by not satisfying their very basic and diverse individual needs on a political or economic level. By not ensuring the happiness of the common man, all other communist achievements were already being constructed on a rotten base.

3. Communism died from within as the hearts of its people gave out, love struck by the apparent superiority of Capitalist living. People living in Eastern block countries could see from time to time how much farther the standard of living had advanced in the Western Democracies as opposed to their own nations. They could see the superiority of Western products, the bounty of Western goods, the apparent ease and happiness of Western lifestyle. Over time the Communist system simply could not match this sort of advancement, and attempted to cover up this fact through propaganda, repression, and terror tactics against its citizens.

4. The dissolution of the USSR shortly after the abortive coup of August, 1991, was a kind of consensual state suicide in which the various republics agreed to sever the ties which had bound them for so long. This moment might not have come with such swiftness and finality if not for the Chernobyl disaster's political repercussions in Ukraine, Belarus, Lithuania, Russia, and other republics. All complex, high-energy systems fail eventually; the failures are embedded in social structures, which also fail in the wake of disaster. It was the arrogance of the operators of Chernobyl on the night of the explosion that led to the failure of four levels of safety systems. It was the centralization of the political power to make decisions about dangerous technologies that Soviet citizens attacked after Chernobyl.

5. Last but not the least, if there is one reason that greatly accelerated the fall of this system of government, the answer would be simply because Communism became something Marx would never want it to become. Communism became a religion. It had its own Dogma, its own Creed, its own pantheon of Gods, Saints and its own devils and heretics. Is it any accident that after his death Lenin was encased in a glass tomb? People lined up to see him as they would a holy sight. A visit to the Kremlin was like a visit to Lourdes. Communists read Marx like the Bible. They refuted arguments with chapter and verse. Marx was a scientist. He loved science and hated dogma. He would have hated Soviet Communism.

Corporate America is a classic example of a system that conveniently and selectively adopts Communism to meet it's Capitalistic objectives. At the highest levels are the executives who make out like bandits in an gold mine. The mid levels and the lower levels are saturated with the drudgery of white collars laboring through a system that is designed to sap the very life of its workers, and yet leave them right where they began.

The basic tenets of corporate (America) are:
* Individual glory is taboo, it is all about the corporation
* Tow the company line, do not question, never ever complain
* Maintain absolute secrecy about compensation and promotions
* Work more, expect less
* Integrity, honesty and loyalty stabilize the foundations at the lowest level, while widespread abuse at the upper levels maintains the overall equilibrium

And the outcome is:
* Executives have turned into bling-flashing demigods
* People get promoted to the highest levels of their inefficiency
* Creativity and initiative are seldom rewarded
* Insubordination is absolutely punished
* Layoffs are rampant and seldom justifiable

This system will crumble. It is just a matter of time.....

the second coming ?

Sixteen years after Sachin Tendulkar and Vinod Kambli were involved in a world-record unbroken partnership of 664 runs, a Mumbai (formerly Bombay) school team has revived fond memories.

On Wednesday, Anjuman-I-Islam Fort English School ran up a massive total of 989-6 declared in the Harris Shield Under-17 competition. With the addition of 132 penalty runs as their opponents, Baptist School (Thane), bowled 11 overs short, the total reached an astronomical 1,121. Top scorer, with 318, was Shishir Tiwari, who was born on 8 November 1989, exactly a week before Tendulkar's Test bow. He added 531 for the fifth wicket with Sufian Shaikh, who hit 202 not out. In all, Tiwari hit 40 fours and four sixes. The partnership came in just 270 minutes. The other substantial score came from opener Salim Ansari with 287. Tendulkar scored 329 and Kambli 349 (both not out) in the same tournament back in February 1988

complete article

the softest pillow

Asked what he thinks is the key to sound sleep, Nandan Nilekani, president and CEO of Indian IT services behemoth Infosys Technologies, has a ready answer. "The softest pillow is a clear conscience," he says..... complete article

one day at a time

i dreamt a dream with youthful zest
fresh grad from the mecca of the west
i drew my plans, set high goals
hit the gas and savored the steamroll
i aced 'em all, missed but a few
yet enjoyed the pursuit all through
i am 29 now, doing just fine
and intend to take it one day at a time

the circle of bangla-life

Bangladesh can now boast the largest super-mall in South Asia complete with a 200 ft glass dome. Combined with it's reputation for attracting the largest cyclones and hurricanes in South Asia, we can soon expect to witness the largest structural collapse in South Asia, the largest insurance fiasco in South Asia, the largest bankruptcy filing in South Asia, the largest protest march in South Asia, unearth the largest kickback and corruption scandal in South Asia, followed by the largest political change in South Asia, funded by the largest businesses in South Asia, and resulting yet again in the construction of the largest super-mall in South Asia.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3759396.stm

eternal sunshine

a tale of two doves from worlds apart
beautiful minds united in a paradisiacal start
a bold experiment in colorful taste
in an alien land; alas, the hyena lay in wait

she traced, she tracked, she lured her bait
cast an ancient curse to rewrite my fate
she stalked and swooped on my blissful state
then connived to prey upon my innocent mate

lorn of heart and lost of hope, i let her go
was i brutally harsh and unkind, i do not know
with a limp wing, she stumbled from a broken bough
queasy flight into the parlous dusk, i lost my love

new feathers ruffled, rich friends of a kind
my pleas unheard, her heart turned blind
eternal sunshine of my spotless mind
each prayer rejected, each wish resigned

i live with memories that will not erase
writhe with raw emotions, i cannot partake
an ethereal connection i refuse to forsake
the utopian dream that no one can relate

time revolves around my intransient world
eager lassies imploring me to fall back in love
i'm stuck in a moment, try hard as i may
my inexorable saga repeats, i've lost my way

[acknowledgements : pope and bono ]

hp are tennis champs

HP are the BAITL champions for 2004. BAITL stands for the Bay Area Industrial Tennis League. The league includes Intel, IBM, Sun, Applied Materials, Adobe, Veritas, Applied Signal, Apple and Agilent. League matches were played from March through August, and the playoffs were held in September. HP (ranked 4) was the last team to earn a playoff berth. We beat Agilent (ranked 1) at the playoffs to make it to the finals, and then eclipsed Sun (ranked 2) to win the championship.

Go HP !

project management 101

foresight ensures that you don't end up in a 20-20 hindsight situation, but when you do, use your foresight to put your hindsight on a roadmap and pretend like that was always the plan!

tha XP shizzolator

Windows XP Spanish users, registering their copies of XP were asked to click on which sex they were. Normally a fairly standard and pretty innocuous question, the choices left a little to be desired. Spanish users were asked to select from "male", "bitch" and "not specified" - that'll teach the Redmond based foot-in-mouth specialists to let Snoop Dogg handle their translations.

Click here for more blunders from the multiculture saavy behemoth...

elbow throes, cricket woes

cricket maestro's
tennis elbow
won't let him wield
his english willow
won't let him tame
the paki fellows
or thrash the aussies
in green-n-yellow

why putz around
with a tennis racquet
and end up with
an elbow bracket?
why waste a great
opportunity
to win the ICC
champions trophy?

take the time
to study tennis
show some respect
you're but a novice
its top spin that
clears the net
not a straight drive
lest your forget
don't glance it fine
or cut it square
that sweep and hook
won't get nowhere

to all you
tennis travesties
aspiring federer
wannabes
it's alright
don't despair
don't envy my
tennis flair
my killer serve
i'll help you mimic
come, join the
tuufaan tennic clinic

dammit! aki beat me to this post

flying burkha

olym-pict of the day



bahrain's Rakia al-Gassra competes in heat 2 of the women's 100m. she placed fifth in the heat.

major silver

a billion people with one silver medal
a great civilization in an olympic muddle
eons of sporting history
perplexing gold-draught mystery
yet...
to athens we sent
an unprepared contingent
but rathore gave his best
trapped a silver to his chest
will it be enough
to reinvigorate the rest?
well...
lets wait for paes and bhupati next...



click here for the BBC report

gayngulee

estrogen overdose?



saurav ganguly, the pretty prince of calcutta is all set to blind the opposition with his undeniably feminine charms augmented by his dainty footwork, kinky strokeplay, seductive catwalk between wickets, steamy captaincy and queer overall field presence. have no doubt my fellow indians, we will undoubtedly crown the ICC champions trophy in england this summer.

thank you Aki, for helping us unravel the great indian cricketing strategy...

1904: the american fiasco

1904 Olympics, St. Louis, Missouri



The 1904 St. Louis Games were arguably the most disastrous Olympics ever. The entire event lasted for only five days from Monday, August 29 to Saturday, September 3, 1904 with no events scheduled for Friday.

The St. Louis Games could hardly be called international games. Since traveling overseas from Europe was extremely expensive at the time, the competition consisted mostly of Americans and Canadians (of the 681 athletes, 525 were from the United States.). It should be pointed out, however, that the Olympics were not intended to be a competition among nations at the time - it was a competition among amateur athletes from around the world. It was the job of the amateur athlete to find his way to the games at his own expense. No one cared if you couldn't get there.

Needless to say, the 1904 Olympics were of relatively minor importance. They were originally scheduled to take place in Chicago, but President Roosevelt urged for the games to be held in St. Louis because the Louisiana Purchase (World) Exposition was being held there at the same time to showcase the world's newest technologies (electricity, automobiles, airplanes, etc.).

A separate category called 'Anthropology Days' was introduced. Minority communities and tribals had to compete in this separate category and were pitted against one another. These games came under the high-sounding name of "Anthropology Days" which were held on August 12 and 13, 1904. These games were designed to face "costumed members of the uncivilized tribes" against one another. Never-to-be classic Olympic games were included - mud fighting, rock throwing, pole climbing and spear throwing

In swimming, Hungary's Zoltan Halmay won the 100m and 50m freestyle. Originally, Halmay beat American J. Scott Leary by just one foot in the 50m event. However, the American judge ruled that Leary had won. This ruling resulted in a brawl between the two, so the judges ordered a rematch. Halmay won on the second attempt.

An American gymnast named George Eyser won two gold, two silver, and one bronze medal at the games. Quite a remarkable feat when you consider the fact that he only had one real leg - the other leg was solid wood.

Now for the competition that they would really like to strike from the record books - the Marathon. The race was run on a very humid, 90+ degree day. The 40 kilometer course started with five laps around the stadium track. The runners then left the stadium and embarked on a dusty, unpaved course that took them up-and-down over seven different hills. The path was marked by red flags that designated the way. A vanguard of horsemen cleared the trail along the way. They were followed by doctors, judges, and reporters in the newly invented automobiles. The net result was a constant cloud of dust kicked up into the runners' faces. They were literally forced to eat dust.

The first man to cross the finish line was Fred Lorz from New York City. Lorz had completed the race in just over three hours time. When he entered the stadium, the crowd roared with excitement. Photographs were taken of President Roosevelt's daughter Alice placing a laurel wreath over Lorz's head.

Lorz's moment in the limelight did not last very long. Just as Lorz was about to accept his medal, officials learned that Lorz had been spotted passing the halfway mark in an automobile. It seems that Lorz had been suffering from cramps, so he hitched a ride at the 9 mile point. He then rode in the vehicle for another eleven miles, at which point the car overheated and broke down. He waived at the spectators and fellow runners along the way. Lorz, now rejuvenated from his ride, chose to run the rest of the race.

Lorz claimed that he never meant to fool anyone - he just couldn't resist the praise and adulation of the roaring crowd. Lorz was immediately banned for life from any future amateur competition. This ban was lifted a year later allowing him to win the Boston Marathon (we'll assume that he was closely watched).

The race was won by a British-born man named Thomas Hicks who ran for the American team. Hicks ran the race in 3:28:53. When he ran into the stadium the crowd was less than enthusiastic. After all, they had already cheered for a winner, even if he had been disqualified.

Of course, good little Alice Roosevelt was again ready to pose with the winner. But she couldn't. Hicks had to be carried off of the track. It seems that Hicks had begged to lie down about ten miles from the finish line. Instead, his trainers gave him an oral dose of strychnine sulfate mixed into raw egg white to keep him going. This was not enough - they had to give him several more doses, as well as brandy, along the way. By the end of the race, Hicks had to actually be supported by two of his trainers so that he could cross the finish line (essentially, he was carried over the line with his feet moving back-and-forth). Hicks was very close to death's door. It took four doctor's to get him in good enough shape just to leave the grounds, eventually falling asleep on a trolley.



The confusion of the Paris Games seriously damaged the Olympic movement, and the 1904 games almost killed it. In the end, the St. Louis Olympics (along with the previous Paris games) proved to be such a disaster that the Olympic Committee was forced to hold interim Olympic games in 1906 at Athens, in an attempt to revive the flagging Olympic movement. These games were not numbered, but were attended by twenty countries and put the Olympics back on a steady course to success.

1900: the french fiasco

The 1900 Olympics: Paris, France



Though the Greeks wanted to host every Olympics after 1896 and fought hard to claim that right, Baron Pierre de Coubertin disagreed. In his ambition to make the Games truly universal, he wanted every nation to get a chance to host the grand event. Thus, Paris was chosen as the venue for the second edition of the Modern Olympics.

At this time Paris was hosting the Great International Exhibition, for which the Eiffel Tower was built. On the assumption that the Olympics would draw crowds that were in France to attend the Exhibition, the IOC decided to extend the dates of the meet, making it six months long. This, plus the fact that it was the turn of the century meant that all the ingredients that would make the Games in Paris a success as well as immortalize Baron de Coubertin were there.

Unfortunately, things didn't quite go according to the script. His own country failed to recognize the Baron's efforts and none of the newspapers mentioned his role in reviving the Olympic Games. Furthermore, the decision to extend the dates turned out to be a poor one. So little publicity did the Games get that although over 1200 athletes took part from over 22 countries, several of them weren't even aware that they were at the Olympics. The Games were also poorly attended with only about 3000 people attending the Games from the Exhibition.

Hosting the games during the Exhibition led to some absurdities, such as the fencing competition being held as a sort of sideshow in the exhibition's cutlery area. Because there were other sporting events held in connection with the exposition, there was a great deal of confusion about which were Olympic contests and which weren't. Some athletes didn't even know they were taking part in the Olympics, while others thought they were in the Olympics when they really weren't. As an example of the confusion, Margaret Abbott of the United States won a nine-hole golf tournament, which she entered as a lark. She is now on record as the first woman ever to win a gold medal but she died in 1955 without knowing it.

Another problem was that the French staged some events on Sunday, when a number of American athletes refused to compete because they believed in honoring the Lord's Day. Myer Prinstein, the world record holder in the long jump, entered into a gentleman's agreement with other U. S. athletes not to compete on Sunday even though he was Jewish and it was not his Sabbath. However, Alvin Kraenzlein of the U. S. entered the long jump finals on Sunday, July 14, and won the gold medal. That led to a fist fight between the two athletes on Monday, when Prinstein discovered the deception.

Cricket was part of the 1900 Olympics. Great Britain took the gold and the British Embassy in France took the silver medal. Only 2 teams competed.

The 1900 games were the only Olympics to include Cricket. Soon after, Cricket was stricken off the Olympic roster.

viva chipotle !

sheik and i ambled into Chipotle in Foster City at 4:00pm. sheik ordered the standard chicken burrito. i decided to experiment with the "burrito bol".

by the time i was done selecting the barbacoa spicy shredded beef on cilantro-lemon rice with sauteed onion and pepper, tomatillo red chili salsa, guacamole, lettuce, black beans and sour cream, sheik has already gotten his drink and found us a table. i walked towards the cashier with my capital one visa in hand. he looked at the card and asked if i had cash. i said i did not. he swiped my card, waited a while, then swore at the strangely inanimate cash register, looked up at me apologetically and said "don't worry about it sir, this one's on us". needless to say, i was delighted that Chipotle had brightened up my otherwise uneventful sunday. yet, i managed to conceal my glee, thanked the cashier with a straight face, and offered to pay later when the cash register was functional again. shiek was not surprised when he heard of what had just happened, turns out this is a common occurrence at Chipotle - my new favorite lunch place.

plain uttapam vs croc dundee

laxmipathy balaji vs andy bichel

this dundee's got more muscle than the entire indian team combined. ganguly and the boys better up their cardio weight training program from 1 stump to all 3 stumps if they are to get anywhere hunting this croc.

gullee-dandaa gangulee

"mein stumps ukhadake bhaag-neki practice kar chukaa thaa. lekin murali ne muzhe asia cup jeet-neka chance hi nahin diya"

We play kabaddi and kho-kho during net practice to improve our agility and fine tune our reflexes. We rehearse uprooting stumps and making victory laps. Does it come as any surprise that the great Indian batting maestros tumbled like a pack of worthless cards? The Lankans posted a score so meager that even Bhutan's burgeoning cricketers would have managed to surpass it, but Ganguly and his superheroes tucked in their capes and kept the wickets ticking with clockwise precision.

Memorable quotes from the post-match interview with Ganguly:
"We need to pick up in all areas" [pick up your game dammit, and leave those stumps alone!]
"We need to get our heads right" [no kidding G!]
"We did not bat well, did not bowl well and did not field well" [he forgot to add that he also does not - speak well, run-between-wickets well, analyze well, motivate well, or just bloody well get the job done!]

bluesman turned guitar-boy

between songs at the concert
[Aki] Look, someone just brought Clapton his acoustic guitar. These guys have assistants to bring them instruments, sort of like bat boys
[Apu] Dude, is that what you fantasize about? Assistants who bring you harmonicas when you perform?
[Aki] Nope, my fantasy is bringing Clapton his guitars!

claptonesque incandescence

i witnessed clapton's rendition of the bob marley classic - i shot the sheriff. i can die a happy man. i am not a expert by any stretch of imagination, i cannot fathom the intricacies of scintillating guitar-work, or the jazz-like abstractness of the blues. i am a stranger to the organ, i am way off-scale on I, flat III, IV, flat V, V, flat VII. but i do recognize a great performance when i see one. all i had was a piss-poor MGD through 2 hours of claptonesque incandescence, and i walked out more intoxicated than i've ever been.

thank you aki, for getting us those amazing seats!

punch-drunk teachers

A state-run primary school in the sleepy district of Mahasamund, 100 km (60 miles) from the state capital Raipur, is not the place most people would associate with a drink and drugs scandal.

But that is exactly what is alleged to have happened in the village of Chandimona. Two of the school's three teachers have been suspended after 91 pupils aged between five to 11 years old were introduced to the perils of cannabis and liquor. According to the investigating officials, both the accused teachers were addicted to alcohol, and decided to mix liquor in the food to make it more tasty. The cannabis, officials say, was used to expedite the cooking of pulses. They say that the drug no doubt raised a few pulses too. So outrageous were the extras to school lunch, they would have been enough to make a rock star blush. Officials say that one of the accused is the school's alcoholic principal, who wanted to liven up mealtimes.

The cafeteria at my workplace could definitely use a few tips from this school's principal and liven up our lunch time. Click here for the complete news report.

the bundle-block martyr

she glides through the aisle
with a stern look
and a wry smile
she glances around to check
"are you done with my
bundles and blocks
yet?"

mercy, oh great one
i think mine are
almost done
i've looked through
wiz01
trust me, this ain't
no fun

i reused your blocks
created many a bundle
installed new tools
that never fail to befuddle
"but did you add comments
and the correct cycle id?"
oops, i did that, but i
forgot to email IT !
"your bundles still on staging?
they should be on production!"
sorry again, i am suffering from
severe cranial malfunction

oh bundle-block-master
help me create my blocks faster
rescue me from the html
i'm losing it, can't you tell?
so repetitive, so mundane
and so totally utterly inane
this is my bundle-block encore
i just can't go on no more

i've used up all life-lines
i am sick of my own whines
i cannot trade my blues away
with soldiers who've spiraled
into an exponential decay
there's nothing left to barter
i am your unknown bundle-block martyr!

toe-stand or bust !

"Lie down on your mat if you feel nauseated, but please don't leave the room". And lie down I did. It was my first Bikram Yoga class. The room was heated to a searing 110 degrees. I could hardly breathe. I could barely keep up with the rest. I was drenched, the room was spinning around me, and I had run out of water. Lovely yoginis in skimpy attires stared at me wondering "dude, aren't you from India?" I lay low, very very low.
 
Bikram Yoga is a form of the Hatha discipline and comprises of 26 postures performed over a period of 90 minutes in a room heated to match the temperature of the human body. Heating the room is a controversial practice. Traditional "Asthanga" Yoga is practiced at room temperature and the body is trained to generate enough heat to loosen the muscles. The Bikram school argues that heating the room loosens muscles, prevents injuries, and helps get into postures that traditional yoga would take months to achieve.
 
The class came to a conclusion. I had lay on the mat for a good 30 minutes. The contortionists around me had put me to shame. I hurriedly gathered my kit and vowed to master the "toe stand" even if it meant defocusing from tennis for a few weeks.

ode to chumma's amma

chumma ki buddhi amma
deti hai advice
pei kay budwise
bolati hai chod de
nata tod de
kar matru-pooja
aur nahi dooja
reh jaa dukhi
koi nahi sukhi
bhagwan mein trust
life-long ah-just

hai total dumma
chumma teri amma
din raat ramble
reno mein gamble
degi tuzhe dagaa
phir aayega mazaa
woh nahi teri phriend
ho jaa independent
ab bhi hai wakt
kar ke mann sakt
chod de teri naatak amma

backhanded english

The backhand topspin is inarguably the most elegant and effective shot in tennis, mastered by the likes of Federer, Henin, Mauresmo, Kuerten and the legendary Pete Sampras. Artistry and grace aside, it is a potent weapon enabling it's wielder with the widest range of spin and depth. Ask Federer, and he'll show you how to flick your wrist at an acute cross-court angle and send your opponent scrambling into the stands, or slam your shoulder down the line and watch the ball scream through the chalk.

comical futility, tragic stupidity

she likes me
can't resist it
she chases me
won't admit it
comical futility
tragic stupidity

i beg her
to back out
she cries
she'll hang on
i forebode
our fall out
she tells me
she'll move on
speedily she says
her new world
will emerge
angrily she
her petty goals
does divulge

where's the simplicity
sense of honor
where's the compassion
shame upon her
alas her past
has caught up
with her
imminent
her karma
besieges her
comical futility
tragic stupidity

pre-somnolence positivity

I had a plan,
Was 23, fresh out of school,
I aced most and missed a few,
But enjoyed the pursuit all through,
I am 29 now, doing just fine,
And intend to take it one day at a time

so jaa bachche...

tuufaan aa raha hai.......