punch-drunk teachers

A state-run primary school in the sleepy district of Mahasamund, 100 km (60 miles) from the state capital Raipur, is not the place most people would associate with a drink and drugs scandal.

But that is exactly what is alleged to have happened in the village of Chandimona. Two of the school's three teachers have been suspended after 91 pupils aged between five to 11 years old were introduced to the perils of cannabis and liquor. According to the investigating officials, both the accused teachers were addicted to alcohol, and decided to mix liquor in the food to make it more tasty. The cannabis, officials say, was used to expedite the cooking of pulses. They say that the drug no doubt raised a few pulses too. So outrageous were the extras to school lunch, they would have been enough to make a rock star blush. Officials say that one of the accused is the school's alcoholic principal, who wanted to liven up mealtimes.

The cafeteria at my workplace could definitely use a few tips from this school's principal and liven up our lunch time. Click here for the complete news report.

the bundle-block martyr

she glides through the aisle
with a stern look
and a wry smile
she glances around to check
"are you done with my
bundles and blocks
yet?"

mercy, oh great one
i think mine are
almost done
i've looked through
wiz01
trust me, this ain't
no fun

i reused your blocks
created many a bundle
installed new tools
that never fail to befuddle
"but did you add comments
and the correct cycle id?"
oops, i did that, but i
forgot to email IT !
"your bundles still on staging?
they should be on production!"
sorry again, i am suffering from
severe cranial malfunction

oh bundle-block-master
help me create my blocks faster
rescue me from the html
i'm losing it, can't you tell?
so repetitive, so mundane
and so totally utterly inane
this is my bundle-block encore
i just can't go on no more

i've used up all life-lines
i am sick of my own whines
i cannot trade my blues away
with soldiers who've spiraled
into an exponential decay
there's nothing left to barter
i am your unknown bundle-block martyr!

toe-stand or bust !

"Lie down on your mat if you feel nauseated, but please don't leave the room". And lie down I did. It was my first Bikram Yoga class. The room was heated to a searing 110 degrees. I could hardly breathe. I could barely keep up with the rest. I was drenched, the room was spinning around me, and I had run out of water. Lovely yoginis in skimpy attires stared at me wondering "dude, aren't you from India?" I lay low, very very low.
 
Bikram Yoga is a form of the Hatha discipline and comprises of 26 postures performed over a period of 90 minutes in a room heated to match the temperature of the human body. Heating the room is a controversial practice. Traditional "Asthanga" Yoga is practiced at room temperature and the body is trained to generate enough heat to loosen the muscles. The Bikram school argues that heating the room loosens muscles, prevents injuries, and helps get into postures that traditional yoga would take months to achieve.
 
The class came to a conclusion. I had lay on the mat for a good 30 minutes. The contortionists around me had put me to shame. I hurriedly gathered my kit and vowed to master the "toe stand" even if it meant defocusing from tennis for a few weeks.

ode to chumma's amma

chumma ki buddhi amma
deti hai advice
pei kay budwise
bolati hai chod de
nata tod de
kar matru-pooja
aur nahi dooja
reh jaa dukhi
koi nahi sukhi
bhagwan mein trust
life-long ah-just

hai total dumma
chumma teri amma
din raat ramble
reno mein gamble
degi tuzhe dagaa
phir aayega mazaa
woh nahi teri phriend
ho jaa independent
ab bhi hai wakt
kar ke mann sakt
chod de teri naatak amma

backhanded english

The backhand topspin is inarguably the most elegant and effective shot in tennis, mastered by the likes of Federer, Henin, Mauresmo, Kuerten and the legendary Pete Sampras. Artistry and grace aside, it is a potent weapon enabling it's wielder with the widest range of spin and depth. Ask Federer, and he'll show you how to flick your wrist at an acute cross-court angle and send your opponent scrambling into the stands, or slam your shoulder down the line and watch the ball scream through the chalk.

comical futility, tragic stupidity

she likes me
can't resist it
she chases me
won't admit it
comical futility
tragic stupidity

i beg her
to back out
she cries
she'll hang on
i forebode
our fall out
she tells me
she'll move on
speedily she says
her new world
will emerge
angrily she
her petty goals
does divulge

where's the simplicity
sense of honor
where's the compassion
shame upon her
alas her past
has caught up
with her
imminent
her karma
besieges her
comical futility
tragic stupidity

pre-somnolence positivity

I had a plan,
Was 23, fresh out of school,
I aced most and missed a few,
But enjoyed the pursuit all through,
I am 29 now, doing just fine,
And intend to take it one day at a time

so jaa bachche...

tuufaan aa raha hai.......