Windows XP Spanish users, registering their copies of XP were asked to click on which sex they were. Normally a fairly standard and pretty innocuous question, the choices left a little to be desired. Spanish users were asked to select from "male", "bitch" and "not specified" - that'll teach the Redmond based foot-in-mouth specialists to let Snoop Dogg handle their translations.
Click here for more blunders from the multiculture saavy behemoth...
Monday, August 23, 2004
elbow throes, cricket woes
cricket maestro's
tennis elbow
won't let him wield
his english willow
won't let him tame
the paki fellows
or thrash the aussies
in green-n-yellow
why putz around
with a tennis racquet
and end up with
an elbow bracket?
why waste a great
opportunity
to win the ICC
champions trophy?
take the time
to study tennis
show some respect
you're but a novice
its top spin that
clears the net
not a straight drive
lest your forget
don't glance it fine
or cut it square
that sweep and hook
won't get nowhere
to all you
tennis travesties
aspiring federer
wannabes
it's alright
don't despair
don't envy my
tennis flair
my killer serve
i'll help you mimic
come, join the
tuufaan tennic clinic
dammit! aki beat me to this post
tennis elbow
won't let him wield
his english willow
won't let him tame
the paki fellows
or thrash the aussies
in green-n-yellow
why putz around
with a tennis racquet
and end up with
an elbow bracket?
why waste a great
opportunity
to win the ICC
champions trophy?
take the time
to study tennis
show some respect
you're but a novice
its top spin that
clears the net
not a straight drive
lest your forget
don't glance it fine
or cut it square
that sweep and hook
won't get nowhere
to all you
tennis travesties
aspiring federer
wannabes
it's alright
don't despair
don't envy my
tennis flair
my killer serve
i'll help you mimic
come, join the
tuufaan tennic clinic
dammit! aki beat me to this post
Friday, August 20, 2004
flying burkha
olym-pict of the day
bahrain's Rakia al-Gassra competes in heat 2 of the women's 100m. she placed fifth in the heat.
bahrain's Rakia al-Gassra competes in heat 2 of the women's 100m. she placed fifth in the heat.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
major silver
a billion people with one silver medal
a great civilization in an olympic muddle
eons of sporting history
perplexing gold-draught mystery
yet...
to athens we sent
an unprepared contingent
but rathore gave his best
trapped a silver to his chest
will it be enough
to reinvigorate the rest?
well...
lets wait for paes and bhupati next...
click here for the BBC report
a great civilization in an olympic muddle
eons of sporting history
perplexing gold-draught mystery
yet...
to athens we sent
an unprepared contingent
but rathore gave his best
trapped a silver to his chest
will it be enough
to reinvigorate the rest?
well...
lets wait for paes and bhupati next...
click here for the BBC report
Monday, August 16, 2004
gayngulee
estrogen overdose?
saurav ganguly, the pretty prince of calcutta is all set to blind the opposition with his undeniably feminine charms augmented by his dainty footwork, kinky strokeplay, seductive catwalk between wickets, steamy captaincy and queer overall field presence. have no doubt my fellow indians, we will undoubtedly crown the ICC champions trophy in england this summer.
thank you Aki, for helping us unravel the great indian cricketing strategy...
saurav ganguly, the pretty prince of calcutta is all set to blind the opposition with his undeniably feminine charms augmented by his dainty footwork, kinky strokeplay, seductive catwalk between wickets, steamy captaincy and queer overall field presence. have no doubt my fellow indians, we will undoubtedly crown the ICC champions trophy in england this summer.
thank you Aki, for helping us unravel the great indian cricketing strategy...
1904: the american fiasco
1904 Olympics, St. Louis, Missouri
The 1904 St. Louis Games were arguably the most disastrous Olympics ever. The entire event lasted for only five days from Monday, August 29 to Saturday, September 3, 1904 with no events scheduled for Friday.
The St. Louis Games could hardly be called international games. Since traveling overseas from Europe was extremely expensive at the time, the competition consisted mostly of Americans and Canadians (of the 681 athletes, 525 were from the United States.). It should be pointed out, however, that the Olympics were not intended to be a competition among nations at the time - it was a competition among amateur athletes from around the world. It was the job of the amateur athlete to find his way to the games at his own expense. No one cared if you couldn't get there.
Needless to say, the 1904 Olympics were of relatively minor importance. They were originally scheduled to take place in Chicago, but President Roosevelt urged for the games to be held in St. Louis because the Louisiana Purchase (World) Exposition was being held there at the same time to showcase the world's newest technologies (electricity, automobiles, airplanes, etc.).
A separate category called 'Anthropology Days' was introduced. Minority communities and tribals had to compete in this separate category and were pitted against one another. These games came under the high-sounding name of "Anthropology Days" which were held on August 12 and 13, 1904. These games were designed to face "costumed members of the uncivilized tribes" against one another. Never-to-be classic Olympic games were included - mud fighting, rock throwing, pole climbing and spear throwing
In swimming, Hungary's Zoltan Halmay won the 100m and 50m freestyle. Originally, Halmay beat American J. Scott Leary by just one foot in the 50m event. However, the American judge ruled that Leary had won. This ruling resulted in a brawl between the two, so the judges ordered a rematch. Halmay won on the second attempt.
An American gymnast named George Eyser won two gold, two silver, and one bronze medal at the games. Quite a remarkable feat when you consider the fact that he only had one real leg - the other leg was solid wood.
Now for the competition that they would really like to strike from the record books - the Marathon. The race was run on a very humid, 90+ degree day. The 40 kilometer course started with five laps around the stadium track. The runners then left the stadium and embarked on a dusty, unpaved course that took them up-and-down over seven different hills. The path was marked by red flags that designated the way. A vanguard of horsemen cleared the trail along the way. They were followed by doctors, judges, and reporters in the newly invented automobiles. The net result was a constant cloud of dust kicked up into the runners' faces. They were literally forced to eat dust.
The first man to cross the finish line was Fred Lorz from New York City. Lorz had completed the race in just over three hours time. When he entered the stadium, the crowd roared with excitement. Photographs were taken of President Roosevelt's daughter Alice placing a laurel wreath over Lorz's head.
Lorz's moment in the limelight did not last very long. Just as Lorz was about to accept his medal, officials learned that Lorz had been spotted passing the halfway mark in an automobile. It seems that Lorz had been suffering from cramps, so he hitched a ride at the 9 mile point. He then rode in the vehicle for another eleven miles, at which point the car overheated and broke down. He waived at the spectators and fellow runners along the way. Lorz, now rejuvenated from his ride, chose to run the rest of the race.
Lorz claimed that he never meant to fool anyone - he just couldn't resist the praise and adulation of the roaring crowd. Lorz was immediately banned for life from any future amateur competition. This ban was lifted a year later allowing him to win the Boston Marathon (we'll assume that he was closely watched).
The race was won by a British-born man named Thomas Hicks who ran for the American team. Hicks ran the race in 3:28:53. When he ran into the stadium the crowd was less than enthusiastic. After all, they had already cheered for a winner, even if he had been disqualified.
Of course, good little Alice Roosevelt was again ready to pose with the winner. But she couldn't. Hicks had to be carried off of the track. It seems that Hicks had begged to lie down about ten miles from the finish line. Instead, his trainers gave him an oral dose of strychnine sulfate mixed into raw egg white to keep him going. This was not enough - they had to give him several more doses, as well as brandy, along the way. By the end of the race, Hicks had to actually be supported by two of his trainers so that he could cross the finish line (essentially, he was carried over the line with his feet moving back-and-forth). Hicks was very close to death's door. It took four doctor's to get him in good enough shape just to leave the grounds, eventually falling asleep on a trolley.
The confusion of the Paris Games seriously damaged the Olympic movement, and the 1904 games almost killed it. In the end, the St. Louis Olympics (along with the previous Paris games) proved to be such a disaster that the Olympic Committee was forced to hold interim Olympic games in 1906 at Athens, in an attempt to revive the flagging Olympic movement. These games were not numbered, but were attended by twenty countries and put the Olympics back on a steady course to success.
The 1904 St. Louis Games were arguably the most disastrous Olympics ever. The entire event lasted for only five days from Monday, August 29 to Saturday, September 3, 1904 with no events scheduled for Friday.
The St. Louis Games could hardly be called international games. Since traveling overseas from Europe was extremely expensive at the time, the competition consisted mostly of Americans and Canadians (of the 681 athletes, 525 were from the United States.). It should be pointed out, however, that the Olympics were not intended to be a competition among nations at the time - it was a competition among amateur athletes from around the world. It was the job of the amateur athlete to find his way to the games at his own expense. No one cared if you couldn't get there.
Needless to say, the 1904 Olympics were of relatively minor importance. They were originally scheduled to take place in Chicago, but President Roosevelt urged for the games to be held in St. Louis because the Louisiana Purchase (World) Exposition was being held there at the same time to showcase the world's newest technologies (electricity, automobiles, airplanes, etc.).
A separate category called 'Anthropology Days' was introduced. Minority communities and tribals had to compete in this separate category and were pitted against one another. These games came under the high-sounding name of "Anthropology Days" which were held on August 12 and 13, 1904. These games were designed to face "costumed members of the uncivilized tribes" against one another. Never-to-be classic Olympic games were included - mud fighting, rock throwing, pole climbing and spear throwing
In swimming, Hungary's Zoltan Halmay won the 100m and 50m freestyle. Originally, Halmay beat American J. Scott Leary by just one foot in the 50m event. However, the American judge ruled that Leary had won. This ruling resulted in a brawl between the two, so the judges ordered a rematch. Halmay won on the second attempt.
An American gymnast named George Eyser won two gold, two silver, and one bronze medal at the games. Quite a remarkable feat when you consider the fact that he only had one real leg - the other leg was solid wood.
Now for the competition that they would really like to strike from the record books - the Marathon. The race was run on a very humid, 90+ degree day. The 40 kilometer course started with five laps around the stadium track. The runners then left the stadium and embarked on a dusty, unpaved course that took them up-and-down over seven different hills. The path was marked by red flags that designated the way. A vanguard of horsemen cleared the trail along the way. They were followed by doctors, judges, and reporters in the newly invented automobiles. The net result was a constant cloud of dust kicked up into the runners' faces. They were literally forced to eat dust.
The first man to cross the finish line was Fred Lorz from New York City. Lorz had completed the race in just over three hours time. When he entered the stadium, the crowd roared with excitement. Photographs were taken of President Roosevelt's daughter Alice placing a laurel wreath over Lorz's head.
Lorz's moment in the limelight did not last very long. Just as Lorz was about to accept his medal, officials learned that Lorz had been spotted passing the halfway mark in an automobile. It seems that Lorz had been suffering from cramps, so he hitched a ride at the 9 mile point. He then rode in the vehicle for another eleven miles, at which point the car overheated and broke down. He waived at the spectators and fellow runners along the way. Lorz, now rejuvenated from his ride, chose to run the rest of the race.
Lorz claimed that he never meant to fool anyone - he just couldn't resist the praise and adulation of the roaring crowd. Lorz was immediately banned for life from any future amateur competition. This ban was lifted a year later allowing him to win the Boston Marathon (we'll assume that he was closely watched).
The race was won by a British-born man named Thomas Hicks who ran for the American team. Hicks ran the race in 3:28:53. When he ran into the stadium the crowd was less than enthusiastic. After all, they had already cheered for a winner, even if he had been disqualified.
Of course, good little Alice Roosevelt was again ready to pose with the winner. But she couldn't. Hicks had to be carried off of the track. It seems that Hicks had begged to lie down about ten miles from the finish line. Instead, his trainers gave him an oral dose of strychnine sulfate mixed into raw egg white to keep him going. This was not enough - they had to give him several more doses, as well as brandy, along the way. By the end of the race, Hicks had to actually be supported by two of his trainers so that he could cross the finish line (essentially, he was carried over the line with his feet moving back-and-forth). Hicks was very close to death's door. It took four doctor's to get him in good enough shape just to leave the grounds, eventually falling asleep on a trolley.
The confusion of the Paris Games seriously damaged the Olympic movement, and the 1904 games almost killed it. In the end, the St. Louis Olympics (along with the previous Paris games) proved to be such a disaster that the Olympic Committee was forced to hold interim Olympic games in 1906 at Athens, in an attempt to revive the flagging Olympic movement. These games were not numbered, but were attended by twenty countries and put the Olympics back on a steady course to success.
1900: the french fiasco
The 1900 Olympics: Paris, France
Though the Greeks wanted to host every Olympics after 1896 and fought hard to claim that right, Baron Pierre de Coubertin disagreed. In his ambition to make the Games truly universal, he wanted every nation to get a chance to host the grand event. Thus, Paris was chosen as the venue for the second edition of the Modern Olympics.
At this time Paris was hosting the Great International Exhibition, for which the Eiffel Tower was built. On the assumption that the Olympics would draw crowds that were in France to attend the Exhibition, the IOC decided to extend the dates of the meet, making it six months long. This, plus the fact that it was the turn of the century meant that all the ingredients that would make the Games in Paris a success as well as immortalize Baron de Coubertin were there.
Unfortunately, things didn't quite go according to the script. His own country failed to recognize the Baron's efforts and none of the newspapers mentioned his role in reviving the Olympic Games. Furthermore, the decision to extend the dates turned out to be a poor one. So little publicity did the Games get that although over 1200 athletes took part from over 22 countries, several of them weren't even aware that they were at the Olympics. The Games were also poorly attended with only about 3000 people attending the Games from the Exhibition.
Hosting the games during the Exhibition led to some absurdities, such as the fencing competition being held as a sort of sideshow in the exhibition's cutlery area. Because there were other sporting events held in connection with the exposition, there was a great deal of confusion about which were Olympic contests and which weren't. Some athletes didn't even know they were taking part in the Olympics, while others thought they were in the Olympics when they really weren't. As an example of the confusion, Margaret Abbott of the United States won a nine-hole golf tournament, which she entered as a lark. She is now on record as the first woman ever to win a gold medal but she died in 1955 without knowing it.
Another problem was that the French staged some events on Sunday, when a number of American athletes refused to compete because they believed in honoring the Lord's Day. Myer Prinstein, the world record holder in the long jump, entered into a gentleman's agreement with other U. S. athletes not to compete on Sunday even though he was Jewish and it was not his Sabbath. However, Alvin Kraenzlein of the U. S. entered the long jump finals on Sunday, July 14, and won the gold medal. That led to a fist fight between the two athletes on Monday, when Prinstein discovered the deception.
Cricket was part of the 1900 Olympics. Great Britain took the gold and the British Embassy in France took the silver medal. Only 2 teams competed.
The 1900 games were the only Olympics to include Cricket. Soon after, Cricket was stricken off the Olympic roster.
Though the Greeks wanted to host every Olympics after 1896 and fought hard to claim that right, Baron Pierre de Coubertin disagreed. In his ambition to make the Games truly universal, he wanted every nation to get a chance to host the grand event. Thus, Paris was chosen as the venue for the second edition of the Modern Olympics.
At this time Paris was hosting the Great International Exhibition, for which the Eiffel Tower was built. On the assumption that the Olympics would draw crowds that were in France to attend the Exhibition, the IOC decided to extend the dates of the meet, making it six months long. This, plus the fact that it was the turn of the century meant that all the ingredients that would make the Games in Paris a success as well as immortalize Baron de Coubertin were there.
Unfortunately, things didn't quite go according to the script. His own country failed to recognize the Baron's efforts and none of the newspapers mentioned his role in reviving the Olympic Games. Furthermore, the decision to extend the dates turned out to be a poor one. So little publicity did the Games get that although over 1200 athletes took part from over 22 countries, several of them weren't even aware that they were at the Olympics. The Games were also poorly attended with only about 3000 people attending the Games from the Exhibition.
Hosting the games during the Exhibition led to some absurdities, such as the fencing competition being held as a sort of sideshow in the exhibition's cutlery area. Because there were other sporting events held in connection with the exposition, there was a great deal of confusion about which were Olympic contests and which weren't. Some athletes didn't even know they were taking part in the Olympics, while others thought they were in the Olympics when they really weren't. As an example of the confusion, Margaret Abbott of the United States won a nine-hole golf tournament, which she entered as a lark. She is now on record as the first woman ever to win a gold medal but she died in 1955 without knowing it.
Another problem was that the French staged some events on Sunday, when a number of American athletes refused to compete because they believed in honoring the Lord's Day. Myer Prinstein, the world record holder in the long jump, entered into a gentleman's agreement with other U. S. athletes not to compete on Sunday even though he was Jewish and it was not his Sabbath. However, Alvin Kraenzlein of the U. S. entered the long jump finals on Sunday, July 14, and won the gold medal. That led to a fist fight between the two athletes on Monday, when Prinstein discovered the deception.
Cricket was part of the 1900 Olympics. Great Britain took the gold and the British Embassy in France took the silver medal. Only 2 teams competed.
The 1900 games were the only Olympics to include Cricket. Soon after, Cricket was stricken off the Olympic roster.
Sunday, August 01, 2004
viva chipotle !
sheik and i ambled into Chipotle in Foster City at 4:00pm. sheik ordered the standard chicken burrito. i decided to experiment with the "burrito bol".
by the time i was done selecting the barbacoa spicy shredded beef on cilantro-lemon rice with sauteed onion and pepper, tomatillo red chili salsa, guacamole, lettuce, black beans and sour cream, sheik has already gotten his drink and found us a table. i walked towards the cashier with my capital one visa in hand. he looked at the card and asked if i had cash. i said i did not. he swiped my card, waited a while, then swore at the strangely inanimate cash register, looked up at me apologetically and said "don't worry about it sir, this one's on us". needless to say, i was delighted that Chipotle had brightened up my otherwise uneventful sunday. yet, i managed to conceal my glee, thanked the cashier with a straight face, and offered to pay later when the cash register was functional again. shiek was not surprised when he heard of what had just happened, turns out this is a common occurrence at Chipotle - my new favorite lunch place.
by the time i was done selecting the barbacoa spicy shredded beef on cilantro-lemon rice with sauteed onion and pepper, tomatillo red chili salsa, guacamole, lettuce, black beans and sour cream, sheik has already gotten his drink and found us a table. i walked towards the cashier with my capital one visa in hand. he looked at the card and asked if i had cash. i said i did not. he swiped my card, waited a while, then swore at the strangely inanimate cash register, looked up at me apologetically and said "don't worry about it sir, this one's on us". needless to say, i was delighted that Chipotle had brightened up my otherwise uneventful sunday. yet, i managed to conceal my glee, thanked the cashier with a straight face, and offered to pay later when the cash register was functional again. shiek was not surprised when he heard of what had just happened, turns out this is a common occurrence at Chipotle - my new favorite lunch place.
plain uttapam vs croc dundee
laxmipathy balaji vs andy bichel
this dundee's got more muscle than the entire indian team combined. ganguly and the boys better up their cardio weight training program from 1 stump to all 3 stumps if they are to get anywhere hunting this croc.
this dundee's got more muscle than the entire indian team combined. ganguly and the boys better up their cardio weight training program from 1 stump to all 3 stumps if they are to get anywhere hunting this croc.
gullee-dandaa gangulee
"mein stumps ukhadake bhaag-neki practice kar chukaa thaa. lekin murali ne muzhe asia cup jeet-neka chance hi nahin diya"
We play kabaddi and kho-kho during net practice to improve our agility and fine tune our reflexes. We rehearse uprooting stumps and making victory laps. Does it come as any surprise that the great Indian batting maestros tumbled like a pack of worthless cards? The Lankans posted a score so meager that even Bhutan's burgeoning cricketers would have managed to surpass it, but Ganguly and his superheroes tucked in their capes and kept the wickets ticking with clockwise precision.
Memorable quotes from the post-match interview with Ganguly:
"We need to pick up in all areas" [pick up your game dammit, and leave those stumps alone!]
"We need to get our heads right" [no kidding G!]
"We did not bat well, did not bowl well and did not field well" [he forgot to add that he also does not - speak well, run-between-wickets well, analyze well, motivate well, or just bloody well get the job done!]
We play kabaddi and kho-kho during net practice to improve our agility and fine tune our reflexes. We rehearse uprooting stumps and making victory laps. Does it come as any surprise that the great Indian batting maestros tumbled like a pack of worthless cards? The Lankans posted a score so meager that even Bhutan's burgeoning cricketers would have managed to surpass it, but Ganguly and his superheroes tucked in their capes and kept the wickets ticking with clockwise precision.
Memorable quotes from the post-match interview with Ganguly:
"We need to pick up in all areas" [pick up your game dammit, and leave those stumps alone!]
"We need to get our heads right" [no kidding G!]
"We did not bat well, did not bowl well and did not field well" [he forgot to add that he also does not - speak well, run-between-wickets well, analyze well, motivate well, or just bloody well get the job done!]
bluesman turned guitar-boy
between songs at the concert
[Aki] Look, someone just brought Clapton his acoustic guitar. These guys have assistants to bring them instruments, sort of like bat boys
[Apu] Dude, is that what you fantasize about? Assistants who bring you harmonicas when you perform?
[Aki] Nope, my fantasy is bringing Clapton his guitars!
[Aki] Look, someone just brought Clapton his acoustic guitar. These guys have assistants to bring them instruments, sort of like bat boys
[Apu] Dude, is that what you fantasize about? Assistants who bring you harmonicas when you perform?
[Aki] Nope, my fantasy is bringing Clapton his guitars!
claptonesque incandescence
i witnessed clapton's rendition of the bob marley classic - i shot the sheriff. i can die a happy man.
i am not a expert by any stretch of imagination, i cannot fathom the intricacies of scintillating guitar-work, or the jazz-like abstractness of the blues. i am a stranger to the organ, i am way off-scale on I, flat III, IV, flat V, V, flat VII. but i do recognize a great performance when i see one. all i had was a piss-poor MGD through 2 hours of claptonesque incandescence, and i walked out more intoxicated than i've ever been.
thank you aki, for getting us those amazing seats!
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thank you aki, for getting us those amazing seats!
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